In Your м e м o r ι e ѕ and in Your Heart
by A Lonely Rainbow Girl
Summary: {ØŠ} He stretched out his hand, his instincts screaming at him to eat the corpse that lay on the ground but he pulled his hand back, curling in on himself as the tears fell. He would not eat; he would not become a monster. He was human. Right? "Even if they're gone, they'll always be in your heart, Hinami-chan." - "P-promise Anii-san?" - "... I promise."


_Based on the AMV 'Icon for Hire' by The Unfriendly. Found it on YouTube; give it a listen and a watching to. It's pretty awesome._

 _Song: Hope of Morning. Band: Icon for Hire._

 _Disc: I don't own the song, band, lyrics or Tokyo Ghoul. Everything belongs to different people, and sadly I'm not on that list._

* * *

A boy was walking outside, hands in his turquoise hoodie and his head low as he shuffled forward past the fellow pedestrians. He stood in the center of the crosswalk, and everyone just walked past him, leaving a wide berth that no one truly understood…

He looked around at the people walking by, head turning as his stomach churned inside of him, newfound instincts telling him to eat.

* * *

 _My mind's a kaleidoscope, it thinks too fast_

* * *

Teenagers and children raced past, laughing and smiling and utterly unaware of the boy's newfound predicament. His nose was sensitive; too sensitive. They all smelled so good...

* * *

 _Blurs all the colors 'til I can't see past_

* * *

He gritted his teeth and bit down on his hand, and looked down at a curious little girl who had the most trusting look on her face… and everything inside of him screamed that he should eat her.

* * *

 _The last mistake, the choice I made_

* * *

His hand on the mirror, he stared at the thing that was contained inside of him. The colors, the appearance that marked him as a man eating monster.

* * *

 _Staring in the mirror with myself to blame,_

* * *

He let out a strangled roar and drove his fist into the glass, cracking the appearance but not his skin as the tears fell down his face.

* * *

 _Sometimes I'm afraid of the thoughts inside_

* * *

He was in an alley now, and as he stood there, unmoving, his eyes perked up and so did he, his nose catching the faintest aroma of goodness. It smelled like freshly baked pastries and sausage all rolled into one.

* * *

 _Nowhere to hide inside my mind_

* * *

His instincts told him to run, to go to that smell because he was so damn _hungry -_

* * *

 _I'm scared that you'll compare and I'll look a lifetime past repair_

* * *

He started to walk, sprint, then run as a smile broke out on his face at the prospect of silencing his stomach at last.

* * *

 _I second guess myself to death, I re-solicit every step_

* * *

As he drew closer, his mouth started to drool and grin madly in anticipation of sinking his teeth into that delicious smelling thing, and though his mind didn't register what smelled so damn good, his instincts did, and the terrifying thing that made him a monster showed itself again as he continued to run.

* * *

 _What if my words are meaningless? What if my heart's misleading this?_

* * *

Blood soaked through everything and a face broke through his boundaries, his safe zone where he floated in the air, the blood stained water soothing him.

* * *

 _I try to capture every moment as it comes to me_

* * *

A girl with violet hair pressed her naked form against his own, her hands covering his eyes as she whispered his name.

* * *

 _Bottle up the memories and let them keep me company_

* * *

A smile spread across his face, even though he couldn't hear her voice or see the mad glint in her eyes. And then she removed her hands and was gone as he opened his eyes…

* * *

 _When the hope of morning starts to fade in me_

* * *

The thing that made him a monster was a part of him now as he lay in the hospital bed.

* * *

 _I don't dare let darkness have its way with me_

* * *

Sweat fell down his face as he held the kitchen knife with both hands, holding up the bottom of his hoodie in his tightly clenched teeth. He was panting in shock and horror and he took a deep breath, hesitated, then drove the knife into his stomach…

* * *

 _And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight_

* * *

... and it broke into pieces on the laminate floor.

* * *

 _I will not be giving in tonight_

* * *

A tear fell down his face as he pinned her down on the pristine white flowers. Her violet hair stood out the most; or maybe it was her eyes that made the tears fall. The eyes of a monster.

The once white flowers turned red as she whispered his name.

* * *

 _When I'm old and grey, or thirty, or whatever happens first,_

* * *

He had accepted it. The inevitable. He was no longer human; he was a monster.

And so with the acceptance of his new role in the cruel, twisted and horribly wrong world, his hair turned white and he wiped the blood of the violet haired girl off his face.

* * *

 _I'll need you to reassure me I didn't waste a verse_

* * *

She looked up at him, her smile quite and calm but there was a mad look in her eyes as she sat, chained to the chair as a centipede was placed in their ears…

* * *

 _Or worse, what if my life's work is reduced to just myself_

* * *

A little boy with brown hair cried as he stood over the casket, his black suit dripping wet from the rain. Struggling against his misery, he placed a pristine white flower next to her as they placed the headstone…

* * *

 _Like never let you get a word in, while I dissect my mental health_

* * *

Her face was covered in blood, and she licked her lips as her violet hair hung in her face as she taunted him in her seductively mad way.

* * *

 _Or lack thereof, whatever, there's too many things to track_

* * *

He stretched out his hand, his instincts screaming at him to eat the corpse that lay on the ground but he pulled his hand back, curling in on himself as the tears fell. He would not eat; he would not become a monster. He was human.

Right?

* * *

 _I really can't remember if I'm insane or insomniac_

* * *

The thing that resided in his eye told him the answer to that.

* * *

 _Now days, all the kids want crazy, wanna diagnose themselves_

* * *

A man with shaggy auburn hair was sitting in a dark room, the sides of his mouth stained with blood. Rustling could be heard and he looked up, the black and red colors of his eyes making it all too clear.

* * *

 _Trade up made up epidemics, pass around prescription pills_

* * *

A woman sat there, merely a foot away from him. She had pulled down her shirt sleeve, exposing her shoulder for him to see.

* * *

 _But my disorder can't be cured by a bottle, blade, or dose_

* * *

She gave him a kind, warm and forgiving smile as he dove forward and sank his teeth into her flesh.

* * *

 _Self-disgust and selfishness tend to hold me awfully close_

* * *

Her maroon hair glistened in the dim light, chocolate eyes warm with happiness as she stroked his hair, pulling him close as the tears started to fall.

* * *

 _But I don't wanna let you see that, I don't want my friends to know_

* * *

And then he was standing over her in a panic, trying to stop the blood that seeped from her side and the tears from his green eyes fell one after the other in and endless stream but his face was determined as he tore off his shirt, desperate to stop the bleeding and to save her life.

* * *

 _Self-disgust and selfishness take me everywhere I go_

* * *

She reached her hand to his face, caressing his cheek with a small smile on her face as she whispered his name.

"Ni...shi...ki…"

And then she was gone.

* * *

 _When the hope of morning starts to fade in me_

* * *

He was sitting in her place, hands chained to the chair as he stared ahead at a woman on her knees in a narrow alley. Rain fell from the sky, and violet hair flickered in the edge of his vision as she whispered in his ear, taunting him and asking why he let her _die -_

* * *

 _I don't dare let darkness have its way with me_

* * *

The woman looked up, a smile on her face and tears in her eyes as the rain fell onto the pavement and her auburn hair.

* * *

 _And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight_

* * *

A little girl sobbed in her arms, the spitting image of the woman that held her tightly. Tears fell down both of their faces as neither wanted to let the other go.

* * *

 _I will not be giving in tonight_

* * *

The woman opened her eyes to reveal those that belonged to a monster and pushed her daughter away, tears falling down both their faces as they wished it wouldn't _end this way -_

The girl bit her lip and let her hand drag down her mother's for the last time; the last goodbye as she turned and fled down the alley, onto the sidewalk and hoping to find someone, _anyone,_ who could save her mom.

The man sneered and down the weapon fell, and the blood spread across the pavement as the birds mourned the woman's death.

* * *

 _Try as I might to keep it together_

* * *

A boy wearing a drenched turquoise hoodie and an eyepatch stared in horror at the sight as he covered the mouth and eyes of the little girl he had followed; the same little girl who knew in her heart she had just lost her mother.

* * *

 _Why is recovery taking forever_

* * *

The little girl ran down the brick face, her eyes widening in horror as she saw it. The reason she came to that place.

* * *

 _Fool the whole world, just until I get better_

* * *

A duffel bag was lying discarded in the center of the abandoned building, and at once she knew what was inside, and she let out an ear piercing scream as the tears fell down, down, down...

* * *

 _I'm terrified I'll be faking forever_

* * *

She walked slowly down the alley, the only light being a dim streetlamp and the moon that glistened ever so brightly.

* * *

 _Faking forever…_

Eyes widened in horror, mouth set in a _scream -_

* * *

 _On and on I wonder what went wrong inside my head_

* * *

Blood raced through veins and a young, childish face that resided in the safe darkness of its mother's womb opened its eyes, blinking slowly and unaware of the significance its very existence created for two very different species...

* * *

 _I don't have to have the answers, but tonight I wish I did_

* * *

The girl's eyes were those of a predator's now; and tears fell down her face as she stared at what was left of her mother and father.

* * *

 _All the pain I can't explain away won't fade_

* * *

"Even if they're gone, they'll always be in your heart, Hinami-chan."

"P-promise Anii-san?"

"... I promise."

* * *

 _All the the secrets silenced by the shame_

* * *

Wings of tissue and bone protruded from her back, two tentacles joining the wings, eyes colored in a horrific beauty as she stood there, eyes set wide in shock and the remnants of her parents attacked.

She fought back against the human that killed them.

* * *

 _Don't make me say it_

* * *

"I can't do more

* * *

 _Don't make me say it_

* * *

Than this.

* * *

 _Don't make me say it_

* * *

I don't care about

* * *

 _Don't make me say it_

* * *

Getting revenge;

* * *

 _Oh oh oh oh_

* * *

Or not.

* * *

 _Don't make me say it_

* * *

I was

* * *

 _Don't make me say it_

* * *

just

* * *

 _Don't make me say it…_

* * *

sad…"

* * *

 _When the hope of morning starts to fade in me_

The human taunted her, and she continued her barrage. There was nothing; only the silent screams of her parents met her ears and she continued her assault, tears falling down her shell shocked face.

* * *

 _I don't dare let darkness have its way with me_

* * *

The tentacles; Her Otou-san whirled through the air, banging against the walls and cement and ground in the confined space and yet she still fought against the human; the filth that took her family away from her.

* * *

 _And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight_

* * *

The remnants of her father was driven into what little she owned from her mother, and blood dripped from the wound but her mother still protected her; the thing that was once her father's released her as the tears continued to fall down her face.

The human that killed her parents and allowed her to find them inside of herself flew through the air, and as the man choked his final breath and fell to the ground, dead, the tears persisted to fall and the silent screams of her parents disappeared and were replaced by soothing words of comfort.

* * *

 _I will not be giving in tonight_

* * *

The tears still fell, but she was happy as her Okaa-san and Otou-san faded from sight, because as Anii-san said:

"Even if you can't see them anymore, they'll always be inside you, Hinami-chan. In your memories and in your heart."


End file.
